The Love Language of Enabling

When I was in the religion of Jehovah’s Witnesses, I knew a woman who was obsessed about “love languages.” For those unfamiliar, “love languages” is a concept coined by author Gary Chapman in his 1992 book, “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.” In his book, Chapman outlined what he called five ways to express and experience love, including: acts … Continue reading The Love Language of Enabling

One Significant Verse Christians Forget In Their Haste to Victim-Blame

It’s an unfortunate truth that many Christians fall into the habit of victim blaming, especially when it comes to rape, sexual assault, and unwanted sexual attention of any sort. Jehovah’s Witnesses, the religion of my childhood, is no different; their Watchtower magazine has outright blamed women for being raped and for raising rapists. A person doesn’t even need to be religious to victim-blame in cases … Continue reading One Significant Verse Christians Forget In Their Haste to Victim-Blame

Why We Put Up Monuments, And Why We Tear Them Down

Humans need heroes. Men and women alike want heroes in their life; if you don’t believe me, think of how many books, movies, graphic novels, and other stories revolve around heroes, including the strong soldier, the knight in shining armor, or the rogue loner out fighting crime alone. Humans have even invented the concept of “superheroes,” or characters that are stronger, faster, braver, and a … Continue reading Why We Put Up Monuments, And Why We Tear Them Down

Does Jehovah Even Believe in the Concept of Rape?

As I’ve brought out in other posts at the site JWvictims.org, Jehovah’s Witnesses hold a very stringent view of rape. A woman is required to scream and fight and resist during an attack, otherwise she faces the threat of excommunication and shunning. See also: Jehovah’s Witnesses Threaten Rape Victims With Shunning for “Fornication” Elders are told to “discern” if a woman has been raped, based … Continue reading Does Jehovah Even Believe in the Concept of Rape?

But I Don’t Want Other Women to Be Raped Either

Many supposed experts on the subject of sexual assault talk about what a woman can do to make herself less of a target for rape, including always parking under a streetlight, not leaving a drink unattended or wearing headphones while jogging, and so on.* Protecting yourself from a potential assault is all well and good, but there are two problems with telling women what to … Continue reading But I Don’t Want Other Women to Be Raped Either

Family Members Are Not Yours to Take

Growing up in my house was anything but idyllic. My stepfather has a violent, vile temper, and I don’t remember there ever being a day when he wasn’t screaming profanities and threats at the family, the neighbors, or the foursome golfing in front of us. My mother remained in the marriage for some 40 years because she was told outright by Jehovah’s Witnesses elders that … Continue reading Family Members Are Not Yours to Take